Summer is hot. Dual meaning "five". Shazam |
Parks. Parks are not beaches. There is no sea. There is no sand. There are no crabs...of the oceanic variety (gross, sorry). So why is it okay to wear swimwear? Ok, so I get it, if women were to strip down to their bra and knickers, that would be far weirder, right? But it still feels a little bit, well, weird seeing bikini's donned everywhere. They have such a strong association with water (because they are meant to be used to SWIM in it) I find it hard to look past. However, despite this, there is really nothing else as suitable. Just, maybe wear some shorts over the top (and don't lay down, fat ass-to-face with me with it all hanging out). I'm not being a prude, just exorcising my right to be OCD about whatever I want.
Blokes in Hawaiian shorts though. NO. Not at the park, not even really at the beach! Sort it out. And just because your ripped mate takes his shirt off, doesn't mean podgy old you can do so just by association.
Ice Cream vans. Saviours of the hot summer day, deliverer of fruit pastel lollies, lemonade lollies, twisters, bubblegum sundaes and 99 flakes....you what? £1.49 for a 99 Flake? I'm sorry, when on earth did 99 NOT stand for pence? AND they now charge extra for the flake...WHICH ISN'T EVEN A WHOLE FLAKE! £1.69 in total. I could almost buy a tub for that price in the supermarket. Maybe I should, maybe I will actually? "One '99' Fake please (yes, I'm that sad)...oh, oh, oh no wait, I have already paid that amount...FOR A TUB. Stick that in your 99 and flake it!" On second thoughts, I probably won't do that in fear of being laughed at and then being made to pay for the ice-cream I just asked for.
On the bright side, It's nice to not be cold or wet. Until the 'premature' weather comes to a halt and our real summer begins anyway. And hey, I treated you to a picture of Summer!