This is what you SHOULD've had

Mr Stuart Pearce. Manager or Great Britain's football team for the Olympics. Let me remind you why David Beckham should NEVER have been overlooked for the squad.

"Look into the camera, smile, and say: Up yours Stuart"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OP9Iez5eLlc&feature=related

I am obviously a Beckham fan and always was pro-Becks for the Olympics. Yes, I believe he deserves a place purely based on what he did as an ambassador to bring it to London in the first place, you could see how much it meant to him, how patriotic he is. Its all well saying 'everyone would have wanted to be part of the team', but that's not an excuse or an argument against his inclusion. I didn't see anyone else volunteering as much as he did (football-wise). However, I still firmly believe he is capable of playing at the highest standard, he has shown it with many displays for LA Galaxy where he has been the stand-out player. Perhaps he wouldn't be the stand out player in a European team but he would still do a job. Also, his wealth of experience is unrivalled. No-one has the international experience he does in team GB. Giggs, domestically yes, but not Internationally. And you're telling me Micah Richards deserves a place after refusing to go on the stand-by list for the European Championships? Beckham would have chewed his own arm off to be on the stand-by list. It makes me angry that people have written him off as a has-been when the above link demonstrates otherwise, as does the 2012 ESPY he won for the 'Best MLS Player' earlier this month.

Stuart Pearce. England lion and legend you may be, but you have made a mistake with this selection. Why place him on the list, raising hopes (his AND ours) of playing amongst all the media hype if you were never going to take him. It seems you have made an example of him, almost as badly and distastefully as Steve 'wolly with the brolly' McClaren. I for one am much less looking forward to travelling ALL the way to Cardiff to see the team minus David Beckham.

Tom (Thumb) Cruise's Holmes makes like a banana...

"By the way, I dropped Suri off for her Scientology induction"

Poor old Tom Cruise. Didn't see it coming eh? Not just a little bit, Tom? Not even on the eve of her 33rd Birthday? Not just an incy bit paranoid? I question Tom's (first name terms, of course) apparent surprise because, like those before her, his ex-wives also left him when they turned thirty-three. 33rd's all around then.

Now, I like Tom Cruise, I don't buy into all that Scientology nonsense though, it's irrelevant, in terms of what i like about him. I like many of his films, I like how polite and accommodating he seems (I have heard first hand from someone who has worked with him on set) and I like how he doesn't take himself too seriously. Hmm...maybe I just ignore the whole Scientology issue then.

ANYway, I'm quite a sceptic when it comes to things such as curses and such, however, this particular case is quite hard to ignore. Now. Lets get the facts in first. All 3 of Toms wives left him at the age of 33. Mimi Rogers, Nicole Kidman and now Katie Holmes. AND, they were born 11 years apart, 1956, 1967 and 1978 respectively...totalling 33. "Strange?" I hear you...think, probably. YES, it IS strange, until more is revealed. The divorces were also 11 years apart, 1990, 2001 & 2012. "Spooky" I hear you say aloud. YES, it IS spooky. Until I reveal more that is! With regards to the whole Scientology link, apparently, and this is where my knowledge begins and ends about 'latitude' and 'longitude', apparently, the religion has been linked to the 33rd parallel North, a circle of latitude (dunno, look it up). "O.M.G!" You abbreviate in such a manner as to purposely attract attention from anyone around you. YES, omg. Coincidental? Planned (that would be weird)? Who knows. Oh, also, just for effect, Jesus performed 33 miracles and was 33 years old when he was crucified! Its not really that relevant as its not to do with Tom's private life or Scientology, but it is to do with Religion, at that is a loose link worth mentioning...to pad out this totally unnecessary article.

What month is it?

Rose Dawson (Titanic). Selfish bitch even in her old age.

Premature speculation. That summer was here, that is. As per my previous blog, the summer is in fact NOT here. Instead we find ourselves in tropical monsoon weather. Who would have thunk it!? June and raining in London...in Britain! But we all get carried away, it's our nature. We get carried away with everything, the weather, the football, the recession, swine flu, fuel shortages. You name it, we panic about it. People in the public eye create paranoia and hysteria and we all go "Oh my god! The entire WORLDS supply of petrol has run out over night!" And then people go gas guzzling, storing it in their homes and blowing themselves up. One week later....no, there were no shortages, it was probably just a ploy by the government to make us shell out shit loads of money for copious amounts of fuel which was completely unnecessary and now we're all stuck with it. Paranoid we're going to blow ourselves up. (Someone ACTUALLY did this, by the way). Hmm. Anyway, I seem to have gone off-topic. So yes, the weather. Boring. Grey. Dull. Raining. Get used to it. 

SUMMER IS HERE!

Summer is hot. Dual meaning "five". Shazam

No, unfortunately not 'The O.C' Summer, but instead the season. Well, at least it feels that way, and my entire left side agrees. HOW, I would like to ask, does the sun manage to heat up half the globe at one time, yet only manage to tan (ok, burn) HALF of my body? I just don't get it. Never-the-less, let's not moan before its barely begun....well, maybe just a bit.

Parks. Parks are not beaches. There is no sea. There is no sand. There are no crabs...of the oceanic variety (gross, sorry). So why is it okay to wear swimwear? Ok, so I get it, if women were to strip down to their bra and knickers, that would be far weirder, right? But it still feels a little bit, well, weird seeing bikini's donned everywhere. They have such a strong association with water (because they are meant to be used to SWIM in it) I find it hard to look past. However, despite this, there is really nothing else as suitable. Just, maybe wear some shorts over the top (and don't lay down, fat ass-to-face with me with it all hanging out). I'm not being a prude, just exorcising my right to be OCD about whatever I want.

Blokes in Hawaiian shorts though. NO. Not at the park, not even really at the beach! Sort it out. And just because your ripped mate takes his shirt off, doesn't mean podgy old you can do so just by association.

Ice Cream vans. Saviours of the hot summer day, deliverer of fruit pastel lollies, lemonade lollies, twisters, bubblegum sundaes and 99 flakes....you what? £1.49 for a 99 Flake? I'm sorry, when on earth did 99 NOT stand for pence? AND they now charge extra for the flake...WHICH ISN'T EVEN A WHOLE FLAKE! £1.69 in total. I could almost buy a tub for that price in the supermarket. Maybe I should, maybe I will actually? "One '99' Fake please (yes, I'm that sad)...oh, oh, oh no wait, I have already paid that amount...FOR A TUB. Stick that in your 99 and flake it!" On second thoughts, I probably won't do that in fear of being laughed at and then being made to pay for the ice-cream I just asked for.

On the bright side, It's nice to not be cold or wet. Until the 'premature' weather comes to a halt and our real summer begins anyway. And hey, I treated you to a picture of Summer!

Woy Woy Woy

The two best Roy Hodgson impersonators...

Roy 'Woy' Hodgson takes over the England team on a four year contract. Good appointment? Hmmmm. I guess only time will tell, but that is what the FA aimed for. Appointing a manager such as Redknapp, the fans favourite, would have lead to a demand of instant success starting with the Euro's. With Hodgson, we have a tactic in place ensuring the plan lies long term. No-one is going to expect England to win the Euro's (not that we did anyway), but the furore which would have been created should Harry have been named manager would have ensured the nation become expectant of success. Naive, yes, fickle, yes, but that's just how we are as a nation. With Roy at the helm, I genuinely believe the team will be given time, cut a little slack and be able to enjoy football again without the insurmountable pressure to win every time they step onto a pitch. Of course we will still be expected to progress from the group stage along with France, but I believe anything beyond the first knock-out stage will be considered a bonus. So, let's TRY to enjoy the Euro's and look forward to the next World Cup...BRAZIL!   

We can all look forward to this...I mean the football in 2014

United Succumb to City

Two's Kompany, Three's a...but seriously, why wasn't Ferdinand marking him?

Sooooo, Manchester United play conservatively against City rivals and get beat. Surprised? Neither am I. What happened to the tried and tested, goal scoring formation including Welbeck and Valencia!? Have we (I say we because I support, not because I am part of the team. Unfortunately for me, fortunately for them) relinquished the title with two games to go? Perhaps. Will QPR pull of another miracle (after beating Arsenal and Liverpool) and beat City? Unlikely. Very unlikely. However *rubbing hands together*, there is a small matter of the Toon to come, at St. James...sorry, The Sports Direct Arena (bleuurgh!). If ever I were to request a favour from Newcastle in my days of being a United supporter and football fan, it is now. I am not a pessimist, but on seeing the team sheet for Monday night, I had to predict a close City victory, but I am hopeful and do genuinely believe New'cassle can take a point from that fixture and presuming United don't f**k up at Sunderland and SMASH QPR, we can still run out victors!

The Demba-Bus is Coming!

 

Sofar Sounds

http://www.sofarsounds.com/

I have been useless recently, not updating this space for a while (for those few of you who care, me and...erm) but I just wanted to bring this to your attention. Sofarsounds/Songs For a Room has been round for a little while now but has more recently EXPLODED with popularity around the globe. The idea of it is to bring new, up and coming artists to small space in someones home for a gig that has a more personal feel to it. You have to be subscribed to be able to attend and it is extremely hard to get a place as it is so popular, but perservere at all costs as if you are lucky enough to be able to attend, it will undoubtedly be one of the best gigs you would have ever been to and will go to. Everyone wants to be there to listen to and appreciate the music. No-one chit chats over the artists and the atmosphere is fantastic, whether it's completedly relaxed and chilled out, like listening to someone like The Daydream Club or something more thigh-slappingly, foot tappingly upbeat like Admiral Fallow.

Also, follow them on twitter @Sofarsounds for updates on upcoming shows and past performances.