Because it will be EPIC

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Lovely Jubby

No, for all you Del Boy fans, it's not a type-o although the title should have a 'vs.' in-between. Here we have two contrasting meals invented and prepared by my good self, one made from the finest ingredients found in my parents fridge/cupboard (lovely), and the second, ingredients scraped  together from my own food reserves (jubby). Now, I'm not saying that I buy jubby food products (and for those of you who don't know what jubby means...it means gross) but I am referring to the leftovers of ingredients used for different meals, combining them in an alternative or perhaps sometimes questionable way as to not waste anything. This doesn't refer to taste by the way, just either appearance or the idea of certain concoctions. I am pretty sure this has a lot to do with not quite breaking free of the student lifestyle but sometimes it's a stomach pleaser and a great alternative to a trip to the shops, especially on those hungover days...I told you, student lifestyle. Anyhow, whilst I'm sure everyone who bothers to actually read this will appreciate the monotony, blabbering and procrastinating that I tend to do, here are the two meals in question...

Firstly, for the 'lovely', here we have a 'Make-it-up-as-you-go-along Salad Nicoise'. Typically including; tuna, a hard boiled egg, potato, tomato, french beans, onion, olives, basil, cucumber, anchovies and lettuce with a garlicky, french dressing.
In my recipe we have: lettuce, spinach, red onion, red pepper, tuna, pine nuts, a poached egg and coriander. I also added a little bit of mayo and lemon juice to the tuna (from a can, not a steak!) and drizzled some honey & mustard dressing and a splash of balsamic vinegar over the top. If you don't have a mountain of these ingredients and need to bulk it out a bit to fill yourself up, it is worth adding some noodles. Cook them and leave them to cool as to not freak out the tuna-mayo combo though.

Sooooo, that just leaves the less 'lovely' looking 'Omelette meets Macaroni Cheese meets Dahl soup'. There is no original recipe for this because quite frankly, no-one in their right mind would think to put these atrocities of conflicting flavours together...almost no-one anyway. In my defence, I only had two eggs, half a pot of soup and smidgen of my housemates leftover mac & cheese to work with and I was quite hungry. PLUS, all three taste good individually, they are just on the same plate, no harm done. Except to your eyes maybe. Sorry. In case you were wondering, the omelette consisted of mushroom, coriander and a lot of milk (to make it puffy and light), I added some thickening granules to the soup to make it more like a curry consistency and the macaroni was from a packet. It was filling, unusual and cost approximately £1. Not bad if you don't care what you're eating looks like eh?

The EX-Factor

And the winner is...Tulisa, apparently

FINALLY. X-Factor is over. No more panic on a Saturday evening on realising you're watching 'Strictly' during the overlap, even though it makes no difference to you what happens on the show. Who's going to win? Little-Mix or Marcus? A question you feel compelled to answer, even though you don't care, the person asking doesn't really care, and it doesn't matter anyway as you're not going to vote. Yet, you still moan when the person you secretly (but not really) wanted to win, didn't. I say 'you', but this includes me. I hate that I hate it, yet still watch it. Religiously. ANYway, It is indeed over now (except for the "highly anticipated", standard winners single over the Christmas period), until next summer at least. Oh, and Little Mix won by the way...yay.

Half a year, every year, that's what we waste watching this relentless, life stealing show. So, for now, let's enjoy NOT having to revolve our weekend plans around the X-Factor (even though we don't want to, but end up doing so anyway), NOT having to plan our weekly conversations around the 'event' and the build up to the next one, and generally giving other programmes a chance, like...BBC2's Snooker Championship coverage. Or, maybe not.

Crapchester United

Carling Cup quarter-final, Crystal Palace at home, nice. Looking at the other fixtures, Arsenal vs. Man City and Liverpool vs. Chelsea, I was like, "Ha! Gutted". It seems I scoffed too soon. Palace eventually forced a winner in extra time to seal a 2-1 upset at Old Trafford and book their semi-final place. Sir Alex rarely gets his team selection wrong, and to an extent you could argue it wasn't the selection that was the problem on this occasion either. Valencia, Berbatov (on paper anyway), Smalling, Park, Fabio & Rafael all started the game, but taking nothing away from Palace, something was missing. There seemed to be a lack of urgency and desire, especially seeing as a few of the fringe players needed to make a big impact to have any chance of being selected for League games. Previous to kick-off, Ferguson had stated how "...the League Cup has turned into quite a good tournament," "Clubs like United are able to introduce young players and ones who have not been playing regularly in the first team, and it's been good to us over the years". Just not this year, apparently.

You look extra silly when beaten by a bunch of daffodil look-alikes

I also believe the Carling Cup provides a good chance for the younger players at bigger clubs to make a name for themselves as they need competitive, senior games in order to improve and to be fair, this particular cup has always been regarded as the 'B' competition after the FA Cup (and I'm not at all bitter by the way...maybe a bit, damn Crystal Palace). A good example of this was during Arsenal's unlucky defeat to City with former Southampton youngster Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain put on a classy performance, announcing himself by terrorising Zabaleta for large chunks of the game. But that's enough about Arsenal.

I'm sure Fergie had more than one eye on the coming fixtures against Basel in the Champions League (which is a must win to ensure the best chance of qualifying top of the group) and Aston Villa this weekend. Ah well, you win some, you lose some...just in future, make sure its not at home to someone 1 division and 30 places below you, please.

So, what's for dinner...You what!?

"Hey everyone, have you seen my..."

I am constantly thinking of what to have for dinner, before breakfast and lunch even. What could I eat from the fridge? Full to the brim with selections of cured meats, mountains of various types of cheeses, infinite packs of pre-cooked meat, all the veg you could think of in one drawer, its neighbour bursting with fruits, shelves stacked with condiments and marinades. And then the freezer: kievs, fish, pizza's, ready meals, potato waffles (ok, smiley faces), leftover and preserved curry's, soups, mince, pitta breads, hot cross buns...I could go on and on and on. How amazing the choices are, but then I have to leave my parents house and reality slaps me round the face when I open the fridge that I stack myself. Cue tumbleweed. The half empty bottle of discount brand ketchup, half a packet of wet, mushy salad leaves, a smidgen of mustard and a pack of ham that went off 3 days ago. What can i possibly make for dinner out of this...Nothing, in short. However, I feel I am well practised in the art of combining random ingredients, shoving them together messily into a concoction of flavours that wouldn't look out of place in Roald Dahl's 'Georges Marvellous Medicine'.

I want to share some of my homemade dinners, proving that a set list of ingredients is not needed in order to create a meal and that it is possible to use whatever is laying about in the back of the cupboard or the fridge. Don't be scared to experiment, after all, it's only you eating it (don't try out new recipes on others, just in case it goes tits up), and if you do screw it up and create a monstrosity of flavours that clash like chalk and cheese then you can just go ahead and buy whatever it was that you going to in the first place, nothing to lose. I will start posting some examples very soon, with photographic evidence, though don't expect a Marks & Sparks styled parody just yet.