The end of a spectacular, glorious and unrivalled era

Sir Alex Ferguson. 26 years at the helm of Manchester United. Winner of 13 Premier League titles, 2 European Cups, 5 FA Cups, 4 League Cups and 1 European Cup Winners' Cup. His accomplishments will never again be achieved by any manager in this day and age of money grabbing, impatient businessmen in search only for financial success. However, after spending his whole life in football, he still looks shit at celebrating.

I can't dance, I can't sing, the only thing about me is the way I walk. Yes I'm quoting Genesis. So what!? I'm sad and confused!

A sad day for me, a sad day for Manchester United, players fans and staff and a sad day for football in general. It was going to have to come to an end at some stage, I mean, its not as if he would live forever, or be managing the team from his death bed...still furiously chewing gum. Perhaps its the right time considering his close friend Jose Mourinho is leaving Real Madrid at the end of the season. Coincidental? I hope not. 

Ahhh, they love each other!

The Rules are there are no Rules!

There are a lot of rules in life. And a lot of rules are there to be broken, I mean they're not made specifically to be ignored but some are just too tempting. AND we sometimes get a contradicting legality making you think, "what's the fucking point? who makes these rules?" Ok, so for example: you can't drive over 70mph on the motorway. Problemo Numero Uno. Cars. They are not speed-limited. I mean, technologically and mechanically they are, but legally? No. Why allow someone (especially someone who has a penis) the opportunity to break the law? Why is it illegal to go faster than 70, but legal to make a vehicle that CAN!? It just completely nonsensical. Are we being set up? Are the government in cahoots with car manufacturers to try and rid society of a whole number of people, chuck them in overcrowded prisons and charge the rest of us an enormously unreasonable amount of tax to cover the costs...because you gave them the option to do 90mph? WELL!?

I'm serious. I will tailgate you until you pull up outside your house, get out & punch you in the face

Secondly, there is a fast lane, an overtaking lane. If the speed limit is 70, and people should be doing this because lets face it, it's not that fast, and you give us an overtaking lane, referred to as the fast lane...we are going to overtake people, at high speed. Why wouldn't we? Its pretty much an invitation! Also, If you can't handle 70mph, use A-roads. Or in other words GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY!

Now I am trying my best not to go off on a tangent, but this brings me (briefly) to middle lane hoggers...the scourge of the motorways. They are sitting there like, "I'm doing the legal speed limit, I'm completely within my rights to sit here like a pig, pissing off everyone behind and beside me, and then nonchalantly show you the middle finger as you pass me, breaking the speed limit, screaming furiously across your terrified 7 year old daughter in the passenger seat next to you..."

This was supposed to be a post about how people on escalators annoy me. I was planning on getting to my point via a linking comment about laws, unwritten rules and regulations and how some never be broken, i.e. standing on the wrong side of the escalator, but instead, I now have road rage...at my desk. 

I'm Back By Popular Demand

I'm back...POW!

That is in fact a lie. I am not back by popular demand. But it looks and sounds better that "Friends laugh at previous stupidity, then request more crap to laugh at". But hey, a laugh is a laugh...