This is what you SHOULD've had

Mr Stuart Pearce. Manager or Great Britain's football team for the Olympics. Let me remind you why David Beckham should NEVER have been overlooked for the squad.

"Look into the camera, smile, and say: Up yours Stuart"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OP9Iez5eLlc&feature=related

I am obviously a Beckham fan and always was pro-Becks for the Olympics. Yes, I believe he deserves a place purely based on what he did as an ambassador to bring it to London in the first place, you could see how much it meant to him, how patriotic he is. Its all well saying 'everyone would have wanted to be part of the team', but that's not an excuse or an argument against his inclusion. I didn't see anyone else volunteering as much as he did (football-wise). However, I still firmly believe he is capable of playing at the highest standard, he has shown it with many displays for LA Galaxy where he has been the stand-out player. Perhaps he wouldn't be the stand out player in a European team but he would still do a job. Also, his wealth of experience is unrivalled. No-one has the international experience he does in team GB. Giggs, domestically yes, but not Internationally. And you're telling me Micah Richards deserves a place after refusing to go on the stand-by list for the European Championships? Beckham would have chewed his own arm off to be on the stand-by list. It makes me angry that people have written him off as a has-been when the above link demonstrates otherwise, as does the 2012 ESPY he won for the 'Best MLS Player' earlier this month.

Stuart Pearce. England lion and legend you may be, but you have made a mistake with this selection. Why place him on the list, raising hopes (his AND ours) of playing amongst all the media hype if you were never going to take him. It seems you have made an example of him, almost as badly and distastefully as Steve 'wolly with the brolly' McClaren. I for one am much less looking forward to travelling ALL the way to Cardiff to see the team minus David Beckham.

Tom (Thumb) Cruise's Holmes makes like a banana...

"By the way, I dropped Suri off for her Scientology induction"

Poor old Tom Cruise. Didn't see it coming eh? Not just a little bit, Tom? Not even on the eve of her 33rd Birthday? Not just an incy bit paranoid? I question Tom's (first name terms, of course) apparent surprise because, like those before her, his ex-wives also left him when they turned thirty-three. 33rd's all around then.

Now, I like Tom Cruise, I don't buy into all that Scientology nonsense though, it's irrelevant, in terms of what i like about him. I like many of his films, I like how polite and accommodating he seems (I have heard first hand from someone who has worked with him on set) and I like how he doesn't take himself too seriously. Hmm...maybe I just ignore the whole Scientology issue then.

ANYway, I'm quite a sceptic when it comes to things such as curses and such, however, this particular case is quite hard to ignore. Now. Lets get the facts in first. All 3 of Toms wives left him at the age of 33. Mimi Rogers, Nicole Kidman and now Katie Holmes. AND, they were born 11 years apart, 1956, 1967 and 1978 respectively...totalling 33. "Strange?" I hear you...think, probably. YES, it IS strange, until more is revealed. The divorces were also 11 years apart, 1990, 2001 & 2012. "Spooky" I hear you say aloud. YES, it IS spooky. Until I reveal more that is! With regards to the whole Scientology link, apparently, and this is where my knowledge begins and ends about 'latitude' and 'longitude', apparently, the religion has been linked to the 33rd parallel North, a circle of latitude (dunno, look it up). "O.M.G!" You abbreviate in such a manner as to purposely attract attention from anyone around you. YES, omg. Coincidental? Planned (that would be weird)? Who knows. Oh, also, just for effect, Jesus performed 33 miracles and was 33 years old when he was crucified! Its not really that relevant as its not to do with Tom's private life or Scientology, but it is to do with Religion, at that is a loose link worth mentioning...to pad out this totally unnecessary article.

What month is it?

Rose Dawson (Titanic). Selfish bitch even in her old age.

Premature speculation. That summer was here, that is. As per my previous blog, the summer is in fact NOT here. Instead we find ourselves in tropical monsoon weather. Who would have thunk it!? June and raining in London...in Britain! But we all get carried away, it's our nature. We get carried away with everything, the weather, the football, the recession, swine flu, fuel shortages. You name it, we panic about it. People in the public eye create paranoia and hysteria and we all go "Oh my god! The entire WORLDS supply of petrol has run out over night!" And then people go gas guzzling, storing it in their homes and blowing themselves up. One week later....no, there were no shortages, it was probably just a ploy by the government to make us shell out shit loads of money for copious amounts of fuel which was completely unnecessary and now we're all stuck with it. Paranoid we're going to blow ourselves up. (Someone ACTUALLY did this, by the way). Hmm. Anyway, I seem to have gone off-topic. So yes, the weather. Boring. Grey. Dull. Raining. Get used to it. 

SUMMER IS HERE!

Summer is hot. Dual meaning "five". Shazam

No, unfortunately not 'The O.C' Summer, but instead the season. Well, at least it feels that way, and my entire left side agrees. HOW, I would like to ask, does the sun manage to heat up half the globe at one time, yet only manage to tan (ok, burn) HALF of my body? I just don't get it. Never-the-less, let's not moan before its barely begun....well, maybe just a bit.

Parks. Parks are not beaches. There is no sea. There is no sand. There are no crabs...of the oceanic variety (gross, sorry). So why is it okay to wear swimwear? Ok, so I get it, if women were to strip down to their bra and knickers, that would be far weirder, right? But it still feels a little bit, well, weird seeing bikini's donned everywhere. They have such a strong association with water (because they are meant to be used to SWIM in it) I find it hard to look past. However, despite this, there is really nothing else as suitable. Just, maybe wear some shorts over the top (and don't lay down, fat ass-to-face with me with it all hanging out). I'm not being a prude, just exorcising my right to be OCD about whatever I want.

Blokes in Hawaiian shorts though. NO. Not at the park, not even really at the beach! Sort it out. And just because your ripped mate takes his shirt off, doesn't mean podgy old you can do so just by association.

Ice Cream vans. Saviours of the hot summer day, deliverer of fruit pastel lollies, lemonade lollies, twisters, bubblegum sundaes and 99 flakes....you what? £1.49 for a 99 Flake? I'm sorry, when on earth did 99 NOT stand for pence? AND they now charge extra for the flake...WHICH ISN'T EVEN A WHOLE FLAKE! £1.69 in total. I could almost buy a tub for that price in the supermarket. Maybe I should, maybe I will actually? "One '99' Fake please (yes, I'm that sad)...oh, oh, oh no wait, I have already paid that amount...FOR A TUB. Stick that in your 99 and flake it!" On second thoughts, I probably won't do that in fear of being laughed at and then being made to pay for the ice-cream I just asked for.

On the bright side, It's nice to not be cold or wet. Until the 'premature' weather comes to a halt and our real summer begins anyway. And hey, I treated you to a picture of Summer!

Woy Woy Woy

The two best Roy Hodgson impersonators...

Roy 'Woy' Hodgson takes over the England team on a four year contract. Good appointment? Hmmmm. I guess only time will tell, but that is what the FA aimed for. Appointing a manager such as Redknapp, the fans favourite, would have lead to a demand of instant success starting with the Euro's. With Hodgson, we have a tactic in place ensuring the plan lies long term. No-one is going to expect England to win the Euro's (not that we did anyway), but the furore which would have been created should Harry have been named manager would have ensured the nation become expectant of success. Naive, yes, fickle, yes, but that's just how we are as a nation. With Roy at the helm, I genuinely believe the team will be given time, cut a little slack and be able to enjoy football again without the insurmountable pressure to win every time they step onto a pitch. Of course we will still be expected to progress from the group stage along with France, but I believe anything beyond the first knock-out stage will be considered a bonus. So, let's TRY to enjoy the Euro's and look forward to the next World Cup...BRAZIL!   

We can all look forward to this...I mean the football in 2014

United Succumb to City

Two's Kompany, Three's a...but seriously, why wasn't Ferdinand marking him?

Sooooo, Manchester United play conservatively against City rivals and get beat. Surprised? Neither am I. What happened to the tried and tested, goal scoring formation including Welbeck and Valencia!? Have we (I say we because I support, not because I am part of the team. Unfortunately for me, fortunately for them) relinquished the title with two games to go? Perhaps. Will QPR pull of another miracle (after beating Arsenal and Liverpool) and beat City? Unlikely. Very unlikely. However *rubbing hands together*, there is a small matter of the Toon to come, at St. James...sorry, The Sports Direct Arena (bleuurgh!). If ever I were to request a favour from Newcastle in my days of being a United supporter and football fan, it is now. I am not a pessimist, but on seeing the team sheet for Monday night, I had to predict a close City victory, but I am hopeful and do genuinely believe New'cassle can take a point from that fixture and presuming United don't f**k up at Sunderland and SMASH QPR, we can still run out victors!

The Demba-Bus is Coming!

 

Sofar Sounds

http://www.sofarsounds.com/

I have been useless recently, not updating this space for a while (for those few of you who care, me and...erm) but I just wanted to bring this to your attention. Sofarsounds/Songs For a Room has been round for a little while now but has more recently EXPLODED with popularity around the globe. The idea of it is to bring new, up and coming artists to small space in someones home for a gig that has a more personal feel to it. You have to be subscribed to be able to attend and it is extremely hard to get a place as it is so popular, but perservere at all costs as if you are lucky enough to be able to attend, it will undoubtedly be one of the best gigs you would have ever been to and will go to. Everyone wants to be there to listen to and appreciate the music. No-one chit chats over the artists and the atmosphere is fantastic, whether it's completedly relaxed and chilled out, like listening to someone like The Daydream Club or something more thigh-slappingly, foot tappingly upbeat like Admiral Fallow.

Also, follow them on twitter @Sofarsounds for updates on upcoming shows and past performances.

Simon's Cat

I would like to take some time to point people in the direction of Simon's Cat, a hilarious depiction of creator Simon Tofield's cat(s). For those of you who haven't already stumbled across it, Simon's Cat is a number of short animations revolving around his cat who, basically is a pain in the backside, creating havoc (albeit very funnily) to draw attention to the fact he wants to be fed. Simon manages to capture the characteristics of the cat brilliantly, from the way it wiggles its bum before pouncing to the persistent clawing of a soft surface and rotating a number of times before eventually settling down.

The website has expanded significantly since I first came across it, with all sorts of merchandise now available to buy and a much larger library of 'episodes'. The longest of these only lasts around two and a half minutes so even if it's just to kill some time at work or something, I would recommend taking a look (via the link below). I guarantee you will fall in love with the cat and I defy any of you not to laugh or coo at any of the animations, especially with the introduction of the kitten...

http://www.simonscat.com/Films/ 

900 games and still going strong

Ryan Giggs reaches 900 appearances and scores a late winner against Norwich

Ryan Giggs, say what you want about the man off the pitch, but on it he has been, unquestionably, one of the best players to have ever graced the game and has preserved himself legendary status at Manchester United.
At 38 years of age, he shows no signs of slowing down, although he no longer flies up and down the touchline after taking on a more central role in midfield, he still pulls the strings creatively.

He displays an unrivaled desire to win every game, evident again on Sunday by his last minute winner at Carrow Road. His celebration sums up just how much every win and every point means to him and the club he has remained loyal to for the past 21 years. Ferguson has said he has accomplished a feat that he believes no other will, not for one club. The only player close is Paolo Maldini who racked up 902 for AC Milan, but with due respect, he played in a central role in defence, arguably a position requiring less physical exertion than the ones Giggs has played over the years.

So long as he continues putting in top class performances, age shouldn't be an issue. He is due to play up until a few months prior to his 40th Birthday after signing a one year extension. Who knows what will happen after that? No-one would put it past him to reach 1000 games at United, after all, Stanley Matthews played into his 50's. In the modern day, with sports science being so much more advanced, who could doubt that Giggs would be able do the same? Not me.

Premier League Match of the Season so Far...

The Come Back Kids...and Grandpa Giggs

Chelsea 3-3 Manchester United. Perhaps the Londoners will not feel the same way as us United fans, or the neutrals, but seeing a team come back from 3-0 down is always a thrilling one. And as Rooney rightly pointed out after the match, it is indeed a point that could end up winning United the League in the long run. It is games like this which helps prove that the Premier League is THE best in Europe...dare I say the world?

Although two of Chelsea's goals were soft, an awkward own goal bouncing in off Evans after striking De Gea's knee following Daniel Sturridge's cross, and a re-directed header from David Luiz taking another deflection off Ferninand (Juan Mata's goal was pure class), it takes nothing away from the way in which United fought back. They never looked like losing, even from the first minute. They looked the most dangerous of the teams on the attack, with the in-form Antonio Valencia dancing through the Chelsea defence at break-neck speed on one flank and Ashley Young (presumably with a new leg) zig-zagging in and out on the other and with Giggs and Rooney orchestrating play in the middle. However fortunate they may have been, by the 50th minute Chelsea had taken what looked to be an unassailable lead. Many teams would have crumbled, admitting defeat, but not United. Still they plugged away, winning two penalties, Welbeck's admittedly slightly dubious (but it makes up for the Cahill foul on Welbeck that was missed in the first half at 0-0), with Rooney despatching both with aplomb and a classic Chicharito, right-place-at-the-right-time, header to level in the 84th minute. Ferguson wanted another penalty late on but it would have been a harsh decision on Torres (for handball) as it struck him from point-blank range. Not forgetting a special mention for David De Gea who pulled off one of the saves of the season against a late Juan Mata free kick, at full stretch tipping the ball away as it careered towards the top left corner of the net. Magnificent reflexes and agility from the under-fire keeper.

'That' inspired save from the Spanish keeper

 Perhaps two points dropped in a way, but considering the deficit to have to come back from, I think it's safe to say a point is definitely not to be scoffed at. More of the same next week please Premier League.

Becks and H&M Collaborate

No, I'm not going to post a picture of him IN his new pants

So, yesterday Mr. Beckham launched his new range of underwear and lounge-wear at Regent Streets H&M branch. Needless to say you could probably see the crowds from space. Taking a leaf out of his wife's books, he has ventured into the world of his own fashion label, but keeping it relatively simple (thus far) may I say. The range consists of: briefs, boxer/briefs, boxer/trunks, boxer shorts, pyjama bottoms, t-shirt, vest, grandad top and long-johns, all varying in choices of either white, black or grey. I guarantee you will now see (well you won't actually see, and I can't actually guarantee either) a large proportion of the male population will be wearing the range. I'm sure (I'm not actually s...ok, enough) it won't be long before a range of shirts, jeans, knitted cardigans and hats etc. follow. Maybe he's starting with the undergarments and is slowly going to work outwards, like getting dressed, so you can eventually wear everything 'David Beckham' from pants to a coat. Maybe just don't start that process quite yet. 

 

Why on EARTH do we live in London when we could live in...not London?

Samoëns...A far cry from, *bleuurgh*, London

London. England's Capital City. Steeped in history. One of the best known and best loved cities worldwide. But does it even compare to a tiny town in the French Alps called Samoëns? Beautifully traditional, quaint, peaceful and wonderfully placed for easy access to the skii slopes above. So, no then. Then why do I live in this miserable, self loathing, over-populated, crime riddled city? Because it's convenient? Perhaps. Because it's full of friendly people? That was a joke. Because it makes sense financially? Certainly not. Convenience it is then, but it's not even really that. Bar Central London and North West-ish, where I live and work, I have no need to go anywhere else. Site seeing, once done, is done. You can only admire such landmarks as The Houses of Parliament and Big Ben once, If that, and then all that's left are tower blocks, council estates and unobtainable mansions. Ok, so I'm being a little bit dramatic having just returned to the dreariness of London after spending a week in the snow filled Alps, but It does make me question why I am here and not there. Then, like always, once my standard, realistic, non-dreamer brain returns to replace the one filled with rants, raves and completely unrealisable aims, it hits me. Work. And future work opportunities. Fun. But work wouldn't be called 'work' if it was fun. It would be called...fun. Going to 'fun' 5 times a week sounds soooo much more appealing, but that's besides the point. London has HUGE opportunities for furthering careers and THAT's why I'm here. That's why EVERYONE is here. That's why it's overpopulated, jobs are oversubscribed, travel is shi...I'm off again.       

Happy New...grumble grumble

The New Year presented much anticipation..

2012. A new year for new resolutions, promises, ideals etc etc. But in the end it becomes the same old same old it always is. Hoorah, we celebrate the 1st Jan like we're going to turn over a new chapter in life, the world is going to be different this year we tell ourselves. A few days later and we're commuting back into work, sat at our desks doing exactly what we were 2 weeks ago, eating salads for lunch (because we ate so much over Christmas)- which lasts all of 2 days. We detour towards the gym on the way home only to change our minds at the last minute and state "I'll start tomorrow" which roughly translates as "I'll make the resolution again in 2013". Vow to take ourselves off to bed at "a reasonable hour" due to being back at work, yet we still feel the need to be watching a re-run of 'Snog, Marry, Avoid' until 2am, having to get up a only a few hours later, tired, aggravated and cursing BBC3. Yes, Happy New Year.

OK, so maybe I'm being a little pessimistic, Christmas is the best time of the year for me after all, so the chances are I'm a little bitter at not STILL being in Christmas holiday mode. I do however feel 'new year resolutions' are a load of rubbish. If you're going to do something worthwhile, do it, don't wait until January. The new year does represent the chance to do differently however, so to those of you who do have realistic ambitions for 2012, good luck.