SUMMER IS HERE!

Summer is hot. Dual meaning "five". Shazam

No, unfortunately not 'The O.C' Summer, but instead the season. Well, at least it feels that way, and my entire left side agrees. HOW, I would like to ask, does the sun manage to heat up half the globe at one time, yet only manage to tan (ok, burn) HALF of my body? I just don't get it. Never-the-less, let's not moan before its barely begun....well, maybe just a bit.

Parks. Parks are not beaches. There is no sea. There is no sand. There are no crabs...of the oceanic variety (gross, sorry). So why is it okay to wear swimwear? Ok, so I get it, if women were to strip down to their bra and knickers, that would be far weirder, right? But it still feels a little bit, well, weird seeing bikini's donned everywhere. They have such a strong association with water (because they are meant to be used to SWIM in it) I find it hard to look past. However, despite this, there is really nothing else as suitable. Just, maybe wear some shorts over the top (and don't lay down, fat ass-to-face with me with it all hanging out). I'm not being a prude, just exorcising my right to be OCD about whatever I want.

Blokes in Hawaiian shorts though. NO. Not at the park, not even really at the beach! Sort it out. And just because your ripped mate takes his shirt off, doesn't mean podgy old you can do so just by association.

Ice Cream vans. Saviours of the hot summer day, deliverer of fruit pastel lollies, lemonade lollies, twisters, bubblegum sundaes and 99 flakes....you what? £1.49 for a 99 Flake? I'm sorry, when on earth did 99 NOT stand for pence? AND they now charge extra for the flake...WHICH ISN'T EVEN A WHOLE FLAKE! £1.69 in total. I could almost buy a tub for that price in the supermarket. Maybe I should, maybe I will actually? "One '99' Fake please (yes, I'm that sad)...oh, oh, oh no wait, I have already paid that amount...FOR A TUB. Stick that in your 99 and flake it!" On second thoughts, I probably won't do that in fear of being laughed at and then being made to pay for the ice-cream I just asked for.

On the bright side, It's nice to not be cold or wet. Until the 'premature' weather comes to a halt and our real summer begins anyway. And hey, I treated you to a picture of Summer!

Woy Woy Woy

The two best Roy Hodgson impersonators...

Roy 'Woy' Hodgson takes over the England team on a four year contract. Good appointment? Hmmmm. I guess only time will tell, but that is what the FA aimed for. Appointing a manager such as Redknapp, the fans favourite, would have lead to a demand of instant success starting with the Euro's. With Hodgson, we have a tactic in place ensuring the plan lies long term. No-one is going to expect England to win the Euro's (not that we did anyway), but the furore which would have been created should Harry have been named manager would have ensured the nation become expectant of success. Naive, yes, fickle, yes, but that's just how we are as a nation. With Roy at the helm, I genuinely believe the team will be given time, cut a little slack and be able to enjoy football again without the insurmountable pressure to win every time they step onto a pitch. Of course we will still be expected to progress from the group stage along with France, but I believe anything beyond the first knock-out stage will be considered a bonus. So, let's TRY to enjoy the Euro's and look forward to the next World Cup...BRAZIL!   

We can all look forward to this...I mean the football in 2014

United Succumb to City

Two's Kompany, Three's a...but seriously, why wasn't Ferdinand marking him?

Sooooo, Manchester United play conservatively against City rivals and get beat. Surprised? Neither am I. What happened to the tried and tested, goal scoring formation including Welbeck and Valencia!? Have we (I say we because I support, not because I am part of the team. Unfortunately for me, fortunately for them) relinquished the title with two games to go? Perhaps. Will QPR pull of another miracle (after beating Arsenal and Liverpool) and beat City? Unlikely. Very unlikely. However *rubbing hands together*, there is a small matter of the Toon to come, at St. James...sorry, The Sports Direct Arena (bleuurgh!). If ever I were to request a favour from Newcastle in my days of being a United supporter and football fan, it is now. I am not a pessimist, but on seeing the team sheet for Monday night, I had to predict a close City victory, but I am hopeful and do genuinely believe New'cassle can take a point from that fixture and presuming United don't f**k up at Sunderland and SMASH QPR, we can still run out victors!

The Demba-Bus is Coming!